and we will step outside, checking that the coast is clear

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I’m a lover of rain. Of the way heavy water hits you on your shoulders and covers you head to toe. Weather as a full-body experience. That does not mean I dislike that great burning star shining down upon us. As a child from the northern parts of this earth, sunshine is something coveted and rarely seen. We’ve had a couple of lovely days this week but I fear that, though I personally may love the nice weather, it may not love. You see, the first thing that happened when I sat down to enjoy the sun was that a bird pooped on me.

Some people call that good luck. I must admit myself to being unsure of that.

20130416_175711 20130428_135627-2 20130311_180631-2And though I love the lovely days, my body seems to long for the lovely nights. I have always been a child of after midnight. Staying up until 4am, mind just not shutting down.

Where I live, summer nights lasts forever. During high summer, the sun goes down for barely an hour before rising once more. Sometimes it never leaves the sky. Sleep seems obsolete and impossible during those times. Yet I love the night and don’t generally mind it until the next morning.

1-2 1-3 1-1On my computer, I have a folder I’ve named insomnia. Because during these long nights where I keep on trying to sleep and tire myself out, counting sheep just doesn’t cut it. When the digital numbers blink 04:57 and you’re so tired you could cry yet your body won’t fall asleep on you, or when you finally do fall asleep just to wake up ten minutes later – Those nights I open this folder and immerse myself in the quiet and calming parts of the internet. In hopes for something better.

I weave pictures with silk and write my thoughts to an entity that actually turn them into stars. I try to breathe and listen to music and I take ill-advised walks around my neighbourhood at an hour when normal people get killed.

20130818_183452During those longs nights I try to remember that while these moments seem slow there is magic here to. In the seconds leading up to dreaming. In the frenzy of staying up until sunrise two nights in a row.

Insomnia allows me to lives in the hours inbetween.To live in the space between waking and dreaming. It’s sometimes painful and not something I would recommend but I think it’s possible to find fairy dust even there.

To find the lovely in a rainy day and the good fortune in bird poop.

– Coco

 

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